Unofficial Rules of Facebook

So… there are a lot of unofficial rules for Facebook. has a pretty good list of them. Below are some of my favorites.

Stop making FB the place where you declare your love for your significant other.  It makes it really hard for us to believe (and also makes us roll our eyes and throw up in our mouths a bit) when you post updates like “Can’t wait til my boo gets off work so we can make out on a bearskin rug in front of my fireplace”.  And posting ridiculous love notes on each other’s walls just makes us want to vomit too.  It makes us wonder why you are being so obnoxious and it REALLY makes us want to yell, in all uppercase, of course: GET A ROOM!  An occasional “I love you” or “Thanks for the flowers!” is acceptable.  It’s just when one-third of your interaction on FB is withor about your significant other, and CHEESY well, you probably need some friends.

Grammar.  tH!s Izz N0tt apPROpri8Te gr@mMmma ~~3Va eVA ~neVa  N doNt 4gEt 2 uSee P3ruds  k thxxxxxx byee!!  Translation:  This is not appropriate grammar, ever, ever, NEVER!  And don’t forget to use periods.  OK?  Thank you, goodbye.

Don’t sync your Twitter and Facebook.  They are two separate entities for a reason.  They both serve a very different purpose.  There are great programs that allow for selective tweeting.

7. Status updates (several points) –

Don’t post a newb status update, which was really intended to be a comment (my FAVORITE) – “It was great seeing you John!  I’ll be sure to tell Cy hello.  I hope Kathy’s sinuses are draining and the infection is healing up.  Will I see you next week at Kristin’s concert?”

  • Don’t give one update about 12 different topics.  We don’t know which one to comment on or if it’s OK to click ‘like’. “Finally cleaned my house and made dinner.  On the way home from the grocery store, my van broke down, but that’s OK because my uncle is a mechanic. Does anyone have any good movie suggestions?”

  • Don’t update too often
    “Gosh, this toilet seat is cold.”  “Has anyone seen my toothpaste?”  “What to wear, what to wear….”  “Oh shoot, I need to iron my shirt!”

 ‘Fess up to your stalking.  Nothing annoys me more than when I’m talking to someone about something going on in my life and they let it slip that somehow they knew that information.  Quickly putting two and two together, I know they found out those details from Facebook and I wish they would just admit that’s where they saw it, or they were stalking, or at least leave a comment.  Much respect to those who confess to stalking.  I have a few that I stalk, but I comment on their stuff to let them know I’m there.  No one wants a creeper.  And for goodness sake, STOP pretending that you “are hardly ever on Facebook”!  We ALL know you are!

Two of my own rules that I think should be included:

Don’t overshare on the private family matters: Your baby mamma/daddy drama is NOT for facebook!

DO NOT FEED THE TROLLS!: Let them starve.

So now the burning question. How many of these rules have you broken? I know I’ve broken a few.

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